Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Metroid Prime 3 and Pandora's Tower (Wii)

So I've had this Wii for a few months now.  It is my second time with a Wii after borrowing a friends for several months and gameflying.  The first time I got the amazing Crystal Bearers.  Which is still my top Wii experience because I will probably never play Xenoblade Chronicles.  The 100 hour game length is pretty damn intimidating.  The vistas sure do like nice.   The Crystal Bearers vistas are also pretty great!

So Blockbuster had Metroid Prime 3.  I have very good feelings about Metroid Prime.  I have very bad feelings about Metroid Prime 2.  2 frustrated me with it's dual worlds mechanic, how not interesting the environments were, and that the controls made me scream.  The controls in MP were perfect for the game MP1 was.  MP2 made me scream for typical FPS controls which was a complaint thrown at MP1. 

Metroid Prime 3 starts with trying to have a story and Halo-story-elements and Samus's shitty friends.  Eventually you'll fight all of her shitty friends.  The first one is the only memorable one and he's way cooler than Samus even if he's visually boring.  The first 3 areas are also visually boring.  That sort of matches up with MP2 which had one fantastic area.  It's called Sanctuary Fortress.  I can't find a non-talky let's play in 30 seconds. 

In Metroid Prime 1 you're constantly traveling back over the same ground just a little bit stronger with just a bit more you can do.  The world changes sometimes and you notice those changes.  In Metroid Prime 3 you have a series of corridors to go down and then get on your ship to go to the next corridor.  The first big world is orange.  The second big world is...also orange.

Shortly after getting to the creatively named "Skytown" in Metroid Prime 3 I started getting disc read errors. I was just going through the motions playing it so that felt like a happy stopping point. I was expecting Skytown to look nice but it was just as orange as the first planet. The Railriding made me want to play Riven. Everything else just made me think, this is better than Metroid Prime 2; This is worse than Metroid Prime 1. Wii FPS controls do not click with me. I got frustrated enough to quit within an hour of RE4 (I love all other versions y'all.) I was making more mistake than I would have liked in MP3. The remote is not satisfying to shoot especially in comparison to the glorious Gamecube A Button. 

Might be time to have an 2013 opinion of Metroid Prime 1 since I still have the ability to play it right now. 

Pandora's Tower is something else.  It is a stunningly weird game.  It's like SNES developers were given a Wii toolkit.  It makes mistakes and has things that haven't been issues in 3D games in 15 years.  It is like this was their first 3D game and they hadn't play any 3D games before.  It also has highly sexual monster flesh eating.

You gotta save your new girlfriend who is becoming a grotesque monster.  A strange woman with her own agenda (shock!) says that if you slay 12 beasts and feed your GF their hearts she'll be saved.  Now there are 12 towers of awkward combat and awkward platforming and sighing non-puzzles.  There are also at least 4 really great boss battles.   I want to remove everything else and just have these perfect little boss battles.  The rest of the game proved not worth seeing the next boss battle.

It is definitely a better game with a friend on your couch to switch off to.  Then you're just commenting to yourself how stupid and weird everything in it is.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Spring Breakers and Pain & Gain

I'm still passively avoiding Django Unchained but I'll head on down to the local living dinosaur Blockbuster and rent some movies about violence in Florida.

I've seen very little Michael Bay.  I remember seeing Transformers 1.  I remember very little about it outside of the painful 3 minutes about Lebouf's parents talking to him about masturbating.  I know he may or may not be the devil, though I haven't personally confirmed.

Pain and Gain is

In the first twenty minutes I thought "I'll buy this and put it on my shelf."  An hour and a half later I didn't still have the view, even if I ended up with a positive view of the film.  Dwayne Johnson is still an amazing comedic actor in the style of Chaplin that few recognize for it.

My biggest complaint is the complaint with modern film. Look at that shot.  ORANGE AND TEAL.  All the orange and the tealest teal.  Everyone wears a teal shirt.  It's getting more and more obnoxious.  I was sick of it 2 years ago. I'm sick of it now.

The film kept reminding me of Wong Kar Wai with all the voice overs.  Internal monologues from many of the characters.  As I'm gearing up to leave America for a very long time, it felt very "This is America.  These are Americans."

Eventually the characters start acting dumber than they did in the beginning and it feel like the script lost focus instead of the characters being idiots.

Good Lord! Spring Breakers  is beautifully shot.  It is a gorgeous film.  It also probably could be cut down to an hour (from 93 minutes) with nothing lost.  A lot of footage is shown over and over.  While this could be thought of as reflective, no probably not.  It is absolutely worth seeing.

I will sit on my thoughts on it today.  I'll revisit this if I decide to buy the bluray.  It gave me a lot of the same vibes as Drive.  Hpph.  I thought I could talk about it more, but guess I need more time.

EDIT: One of the final shots is Biloxi Bridge from my hometown.  THAT'S NOT FLORIDA I screamed.  Both films remind me I do love the Gulf Coast.