Monday, August 15, 2011

Fukubukuro 2010 Epilogue

I've come home from an experience in which people are changed and will hopefully wake up the next day.  It's August 2011, 8 months into a year that is not and can't be 2010.  The drive home gave me energy on putting a nailgun firmly against a 2010 project and pulling the trigger.  It was started because it did not exist, and I felt like it should. 

Fukubukuros are written when the conditions are right, and the conditions were never right to truly grab bag a grab bag.  It was almost entirely into 2011 with 2011 feelings that weren't 2010 feelings.  With 2011 events echoing 2010 events and 2009 events the noise and sadness and beauty and silence was never enough for a fukubukuro to truly flourish. 

In August 2010, I was playing Nier which could never become

GAME OF THE YEAR 2010

It left me gasping at how to discuss and what to think of it.  I told a man who had been told a lot of similar things to play it.  I watched him intensely play it in 2011 while writing what I could of the fukubukuro, wondering if I could figure out how to talk about it. 

Nier almost meant something to me.  It almost gained my love, and then it didn't.  It killed the company that created it with love that never quite bled on me. 

That's the sort of writing you get when you have no idea what you're thinking about a game.  And then,

If I can feel the emotion called love, that truly must be what I feel for Tokyo.  It took root long ago, on a website that has come back in a form I feel nothing for.  I find myself now the age I was when the writers of that site entranced me.  5 years ago, I found myself living the life I had read about, finding it exactly to my expectations.

One day I'll write about that life, maybe when I have whatever new from that life has.  Everyone has left Tokyo now, and the Tokyo of insert credit has long since died.  Until then these words are up until I feel terrible enough to take them down.

Thank You

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