Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Killzone 3 (PS3) Demo Side

It's an amazing that game with this high production values and it never feels like I'm looking at anything or anywhere.  While I got the mildest of recognition for "Shoot the Hinges" my prouder moment comes from the Killzone 2 demo.  That demo is rife with a 13 year old's use of profanity.  At the end of some shit your teammate asks you cover him while he unlocks a door.  So I got next to him, put my back to his back and proceeded to cover him.  After about a minute of not shooting anything I peeked around the corner and saw the Heleghast running around the area I just got done fighting through.  None of them were coming up the stairs and around the corner to where my friend was.  I went back to covering.  After another 30 seconds I set the controller down.

The door was still locked.  I went and got a drink and came back.  I checked my email.  I went to the post office and mailed a package.  My avatar remained covering my buddy, who had now been unlocking a door for 40 minutes.  I popped out and shoot down half the enemy.  "Just a little bit more."  I went back to covering.  I used the bathroom.  I came back and there was one enemy finally coming up the stairs to shoot at me, I rushed picked up the controller and shot him down.  "Just a little bit more".

At this point it was kind of depressing.  As slowly as possible I killed the remaining glowy eyed nazi equivalents.  As soon as the last one flopped to the ground, "I got it!"  Demo over.  BUY KILLZONE 2 NOW.

So just now I played the Killzone 3 demo.  They've toned down the profanity, but there's a Playstation 1 RPG style pause between each line of dialog.  "We gotta take down that AA Gun." ... "Roger that."  "What's our next objective?"  ...  "We need to rescue Professor Humpalump."  ...  "Look out RPG."  ... "aaaaaahhhhh."

I almost restarted the demo so I could record it because my teammate says, "Come on, Stand on my hands."  I had to stop for a second or thirty.  "Stand on your hands?!"  Well now I had to honor the time honored tradition of shooting your teammates.  He never recognized that I was shooting him.  I did get to see him splatter motor oil on the ground.  Dudes so tough they bleed motor oil and gain 30 pounds between the in-game FPS sections and the cinematic cutscenes.

Why bother meticulously animating me climbing on to a wall and pulling my partner up if you're going to have the next scene be a cinematic?  I'm really happy the game actually gives me a body (which I don't think you have in the multiplayer...hmm.)  The problem is I can only see my ?left? leg at a 90 degree angle so it looks like it's twisted.  My shadow at least assumes I have two legs, but I think I'm running like it's Garry's Mod.

It is 2011 and the demo doesn't have online co-op.  It is 2011 and there are only two control schemes available.  The two schemes in which only two items are switched.  Come on let me configure the control scheme however I damn well please.  And twitter tells me you can't even play the move version with your left hand.  Freaking geniuses.

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