Friday, June 8, 2012

The Wii Quick Hits

I've had a Wii for about a month now.  I've managed to play and try everything I wanted from the physical catalog.  I'll try and write posts about some of the more detailed games, but this is here for the lesser titles. 

On the Wii itself, I've grown to hate it.  I hate how half-assed the motion sensor is.  I hate browsing the online store.  It thankfully didn't give any trouble connecting to my wireless.  I love being able to pause any game at any time though. I don't like that it won't completely turn it self off.

I don't like how the lightgun games make me twist my wrist to point at the TV.  That starts to hurt after a while and isn't really comfortable.  Waggling never feels good as pressing a button.  I also dislike modern Nintendo buttons.  I didn't like them on the DS Lite; I don't like them on the Classic Controller Pro.  Plugging in my Gamecube controller and playing some of FZero GX and Resident Evil Zero caused me to really notice the contrast in how the buttons feel.  Not a lot feels as good as the Gamecube clicky triggers though.

Ultimate Shooting Collection is.  is. borrrrinnnggggg. When I played Karous for the first time in Hey Arcade I fell asleep.  I fell asleep HERE.  I also fell asleep playing it on the Wii.  It wins for being the most boring game I've ever played.  The other 2 games on the collection aren't much better.  Milestone have a gift in making really really boring games.  They've got a lot of mileage out of the many many re-releases of them though.  I don't know how exactly the stay in business.

I got it for 3 dollars and there is a boring story where I held the 3 dollars in my hand in Gamestop while the employee tried to sell me on a bunch of stuff.  They called Last Story a Final Fantasy game.  Eventually they took my money.

Resident Evil Umbrella Chronicles is something.  I really don't have any strong opinions about it outside I played it for about 15 minutes and that is supposedly more than the friend I borrowed it from played it.  on Resident Evil 4 I might be the only one that was almost immediately screaming for normal control pad controls.  I hated the wii controls almost instinctively.    I haven't given it more of a chance because I could just go play any of the available normal control options and be pretty happy.

Super Mario Galaxy 2 really wanted to convince me I was having fun. I almost was, but it also felt limp wristed.  I felt like I was going through motions and not really playing a game.  It was pushing it's feelings so hard on me I felt like I had to put on airs that I was having fun with it.  This seemed really prevalent in Wii games, the illusion that I was having fun.

Epic Yarn also had this problem, but less so.  It was kind of nice, but when there are games that are sharp responsive and a bunch of other silly words why should I settle for kind of nice?  Look is neat, the story telling was respectful of small children.

I skipped on a lot of Wii games because I'm an unmarried adult without children.  I'd much rather aim for something from the 8-bit or 16-bit days than try a game that feels aimed at 10 years but fun for all ages(R).

Trauma Team just stressed me out.  I hate how whenever you point with the Wii you see the cursor shaking.  That I was simulating delicate surgery just made me freak out.  I still love the DS Trauma Center games because of the stress and precision.

Give me 2 analog sticks PLEASE Mad World.  Platinum Games always feel like they are trying to appeal to me but were given a list of stuff I might like.  They worked really hard and in the end I feel like I am again, being polite by playing them but not really enjoying myself.

Rhythm Heaven Fever and Kororinpa were my picks for all the many party style Wii games.  They just made me depressed to be playing them alone.  I also definitely felt like there was lag with RHF.  Nice games.  I'm sure Let's Tap is also a nice game, and the most intellectually honest Wii game.

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